A Very Distant Memory

Snoopy

I always amaze myself how I can start to think about things that have happened long ago. Today, I would like to share with you this picture. This amazing little creature of life was Snoopy. He passed almost 10 years ago, but I still remember him often. I have his picture in my dresser and I see it everyday while I get ready for the day. When he pops into my mind I can’t but to think of the day he left us.

I was 18 years old ( that’s me giving my age away people) and was coming back from my morning classes at my local community college. Snoopy, at that time was already 12 years old. If you know dog life, you know that is a long time. We could tell he was hard of hearing already, and having problems with his vision. Anywho, I came home from classes and didn’t even notice he wasn’t in the house. I went about my day as I always would. Then, my mother called me and asked if I has heard the news about Snoopy. At this point she was already crying. I said “No, I haven’t seen him today.” And her reply was “Grandma took him to the Vet and they told her he was ill, had Cancer.” Okay people.. let’s back up a little. Let me tell you all that when I started college I was majoring in Animal Science. I already had a few classes under my belt. I know for a fact that you can’t tell if an animal has Cancer by taking them to the Vet one freaken day! ( That will be a story for another rainy day) I did argue my point about that matter to my mother over the phone. But the end result was: My grandma had decided to put him down, and he was gone!

It’s hard to remember that exact feeling now since it’s been almost a decade( wow, I didn’t realize it’s been that long) but I can tell you I was a flood of tears. I had never lost a pet due to euthanasia before, and it was very unexpected. I was in shock for most of the day, and kept crying and crying. Again, because I had already taken Animal Science classes at school I knew the process of putting an animal to sleep. I know that some animals don’t even close there eyes when there heart suddenly stops. To imagine that happening to my beloved dog was INSANE. Till this day, I believe he feels he died alone. How so very sad…

The most powerful thing happened that night though. I hold God so very high in my life( although some people may not believe it) that he must have been aware of my heart wrenching feeling he came to me in my dreams. At the time I was still living with my parents, and I remember dreaming about being in my room sleeping. And Jesus comes into my room standing in front of my door and with him.. Snoopy. Jesus told me ” Don’t cry, he is with me now. He is safe.” I woke up the next morning in a What just happened mood.. How amazing it was to see my Snoopy with Jesus. I won’t lie, I felt gracious that Jesus would even come to me in my dream. I know he knew how much it had hurt me to lose him like that…

Doggy Heaven Does Exist!! 🙂

R.I.P. Snoopy, I miss you so much.

I miss your brown nose too!

-Jgo

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father daughter quotes sayings | belated happy fathers day pictures tags babydaddy funny love quotes

I have recently been thinking about my life. I tend to do this when I’m feeling pretty down on myself. I know so many people that have struggled with having a bad “father” figure. Tonight, I would like to tell you about mine.

I relive the moments when I would sit next to my therapist and talk about my Dad. I can say this about him : 1. He was an amazingly hard worker ( which is where I get it from) 2. He loved to lie. I believe that my experience with my Dad has taught me so much about myself. I have suffered a lot as a young girl because of this. Sometimes I still believe I do.

I, like any other little girl loved my Dad to death. I can remember being stuck at his hip and always giving him kisses. I can also remember writing him letters of anger every time he would argue with my mom. Emotional and physical abuse is what I would witness sometimes at home. I won’t lie, thinking about those moments right now makes me want to tear up. I will not go into detail of what happened in my home, but it definitely changed me as a little girl growing up. To me, the worst thing was seeing my mom suffer. I can count a million times when i would be the person in the middle of those arguments defending my mom. Thinking about it now, I realize I should have never been in those fights. But what was a girl to do? I would never allow anything to happen to my mom. Specially, because my Dad was such a liar.

As time when on, and I grew older and my parents relationship fell apart. I give my mom a lot of props for sticking by his side. Like I mentioned before, my Dad loved to lie. He also loved to be with women. Being a grown woman now, I evaluate my own life and I too lived something similar to her ( I would have never noticed this unless my therapist didn’t point it out to me). We are humans, we make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes cost us everything we ever wanted. I wish people would think before acting on there instincts.

A Fathers Love should not be questioned or debated. A Fathers Love should be seen when he looks at his children. They should be the reason for living and making the right decisions. Children are innocent in life, they don’t choose what kind of Father is given to them. So many men don’t appreciate what they have. A child will love unconditionally, because in there eyes you are perfect. A Father that doesn’t see that is a fool…

My Father didn’t see it..

-Jgo

A “Fathers Love”

What is the Meaning of FAMILY? Unconditional Love?

I recently had a conversation with my family members of what unconditional love means.. and of course the true meaning of having a family… It made me think deeper.. I’m confusing here::: I’m very insightful. I don’t show it though, it’s kinda on a need to know basis.

First, I will conquer the meaning of family::

Of course, family are the people you are born around. Realistically speaking they are the people who hold your similar genes. But even then some of those people don’t really show/care about you.  Family is suppose to be supportive and loving. But what happens to you when even the closest people to you bring you pain/hurt? How does one react to all of that? I guess that’s why therapist make so much money. Some people are selfish and only think about themselves. Some people butt into your life and try to make your decisions for you. Is it justifiable to say that your best interest in at hand? God didn’t give us “family” so that we would be hurt by them. But sadly, we are all sinners and make unrealistic decisions.

Unconditional Love:::

To me, UNCONDITIONAL love means to care about someone regardless of what actions that person makes. It means that even though someone may not agree with how your living your life, they will support you morally. In life we make mistakes, we learn the hard way and we get broken down. But even through all of that, we have people that give us unconditional love and help us, pick us back up and give us the strength we never thought we had. No judgments, no discouragement just moral support. Unconditional love.. how hard is it to understand?

-Jgo

1st Blog- Love

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

My first post:::

If you know me than you know I am a hopeless romantic.. I give too much, care to much.. love too much. At times (more often than not) I end up getting hurt. But you know what? That’s what makes me.. well me. I live in the future, hoping and wishing that one day my fairy tale life will come true. To me, Life is about having love. Being with the special people in your life whether it’s a loving partner, or simply your siblings. It’s hard for me to be happy, most of the time I’m sad, but when I do have a smile of my face don’t forget to treasure it.. I’ve learned A LOT in the last 27 yrs of life. Some of those things I will take to my grave, cause you don’t really know how much someone has hurt/loved/lived it’s all in the way they act. I have been challenged in life more than I would like, but God has given strength (even when I didn’t think I had any) to keep moving forward. I have had some crazy lessons in life. In all honesty, I have failed most of them. I’ve learned the hard way on what the meaning of strength is.

I have a big HEART, but also been heartbroken..

I’ve discovered the art of BAKING … love trying new recipes.. Decorating Ideas.

I enjoy a good BOOK.. call me a nerd I don’t care..

I like to scrapbook… Pictures are memories to me.. Have Fun with it!

God holds my heart.. He knows the real me..

First BLOG done!

-Jgo