It’s been awhile

Let’s take it back to awhile ago. When the desperation of my life was mentally killing me and emotionally draining me. At this moment, I see a reflection in the mirror. Not really sure as to how to handle that. I take that back, I have learned the skills to handle them. But has the person learned to act on them? Not necessarily. A person can learn skills to handle situations. But that doesn’t  mean the person will act on them. We all have characteristics that define how we react to things and how we handle them. When something new is introduced to your life, the usual you will react the same typical way it knows how.

But when that person learns skills to overcome certain challenges. It know has to make decision. Go with the usual reaction or use the skills and go the unknown route. Most of us, will follow the usual reaction.It’s understandable. It’s what you know. It’s your comfort to uncertainty. A very small percentage of us will choose to use the skills. That’s a scary thought. To stand up to yourself and face it the way you know you should. I have a decision to make. I am terrible at making decisions. I have the skills and know exactly what to do. However, am I brave enough? I have yet to figure that one out.


… I also didn’t realize how emotionally attached I was to my family…


84 Days Until 2016:::


Is this really real or am I dreaming? I remember writing my 2015 post like it was yesterday! October is that you? Wow!! At the beginning of the year I wrote “2015 is my year” …. what an amazing statement with so much truth! I have been very blessed this year. GOD has been good to me and he has given me life again. I can’t ask for anything more. Happiness has entered my life and has made me feel so full. I’m so thankful for you Ruben and for everything you have brought into my life. Someone up there was listening to our prayers when they put us together. I am excited and eager to find out what 2016 has in store for us! 💖

Midnight Thoughts

It has taken me awhile to feel capable of loving again.. Maybe it has been fear. Fear of the unknown.. the overwhelming thought of changing life. My mind had been set on a specific dream or thought. It has been changed now. Now, I feel alive. I feel like giving every ounce of my soul to someone new. It feels weird. But it feels amazing. To have someone to have my back, to have my support. Someone to be my rock. My mind.. my mind thinks too much. It wonders to much. It questions too much. It hopes for reality, but dreams uncertainty. It holds on to the moments, but questions the future. Why? Once upon a time,i had this dream, but my dream was shattered. Now, I have a new dream, a different destination in life…

You.. you have taken me to another place. To a place of hope.. I have prayed for you for a long time..and now you are here. Our biggest battle is me. I want everything you want. I sit here and think back on the memories we have created together and I smile. You, you have made me vulnerable to it all. You have done something that almost seemed impossible. Thank you, for doing this. I love you baby.. I really do..

09.07 6:07pm



Greetings! From the land of no return! haha… Blogging has inspired me to be something great! If the 28 followers that I have really read this, well thank you! And to the random ones that fall unto my page.. thank you as well! I have obtained some critical information about myself in the last few months; and it’s definitely time to share them!

  • The habits we form as children don’t make small differences, rather they make ALL the difference!
    • —> Our minds are machines that remember subconsciously everything we feel or have experienced.. it molds us to be the people we are today. A little tender loving care is what we need to be who we really want/need to be!
  • Spending too  much time on our own can affect not only your mental health but your heart health as well.
    • —>This is also true, because I spend a lot of time dwelling and feeling on my own. When it came time to detach myself from it, it left me a little dizzy for some time.
  • Fear always shouts ” No, no, no… stay right where you are because although you may not like it, at least you know the rules to the game.”
    • —> Sometimes we feel stuck, but are too afraid to move past that moment. We become comfortable in the situation and don’t realize that fear is telling us to stay. LET GO!
  • Wisdom tells us that the better we understand something, the more logically we will be able to deal with it.
    • —> The better we understand ourselves, and the better we get the situation the more apparent it will to be us what the right course of action should be. Dwelling/ Suffering shows lack of understanding.
  • Throughout life when undesired change happened and I resisted it, or when desired change didn’t happen when I wanted it to, I suffered.
    • —> This is probably one of my favorite examples. There is a difference between pain and suffering. Pain is brought to us without explanation. Such as, when a family member passes away, or when we hurt ourselves unintentionally. Suffering is when we know change has happened and we choose not to go with it. We allow ourselves to suffer because we get stuck on an emotion.
  • Sometimes it’s not just holding on to wonderful memories of the past that keeps us from creating a new life today, it’s clinging to old hurts, wounds, resentments, regrets, disappointments from the past, and, yes, expectations for the future.
    • —> It’s very difficult to create a new life when a person is still dealing and feeling the old one. Sometimes, we have to open our eyes and realize that time waits for no one. Sometimes we forget that this is true. Let Go, and Let God!

Lastly, I have to give Thanks for my therapist that suggested I read The Art of Uncertainty. Greatest psychology book I have ever read!


Our Precious Life

Eternally Classic

Anytime I have something alter my emotions drastically, I like to write them down and gather my thoughts. In a few hours I am going to embark into a new journey (literally) and fly away to wonderland. I will step soil into a different country and BREATHE! The last few days I have had major anxiety about leaving home because this place has always been my safety net. But I can’t hold on forever. That is called avoidance, and I tend to do that a lot. This journey has put life into perspective like it usually does. Recently, I learned that someone in my life will be battling cancer. My friend, is one of the toughest motherfu*kers I know. Which makes this a bit harder. Also, realizing that someone I care about is faced with something so heart-ranging is really bringing me down. I went into shock when I heard the news, and once it settled in; all I did was cry. I am a big believer in things happening for a reason. But I can’t understand why this is happening now. The religious person that I am just wants to leave all this in God’s hand. My faith tells me to believe and stay positive. My prayers will be heard because I know he listens. But that doesn’t stop my heart from aching. If anything, it makes me feel helpless. I think I now understand what is feels like to not be able to do anything, and feel so damn crappy. But I will not lose HOPE because my FAITH will help my friend..

The Year 2014… It’s Almost a Wrap!

A heart-stirring glimpse into the hardships of life, and the God who wants to restore the ravaged souls of His children. (Psalm 23:5)

When 2014 started I thought to myself.. This year feels like it will be a tough one. But I had a feeling that 2015 will be MY YEAR. And my prediction was pretty accurate. Life’s hick ups challenged me again. I failed. I failed drastically. But I also succeed internally, mentally, educationally and my soul has been slowly rescued. Every day,month and year that passes by has really taught me who I am. The person I was to become.. They say that bad situations in life are blessings in disguise. I can sometimes agree with that. I have succeed deeply in life because I believe that God has really held onto my hand. He has been able to guide me and protect me. I spend many times doubting myself and believing I was incapable of doing good things. The negativity and sadness that lives in me, will slowly continue to fate. Thank God for that! It’s not always easy but it must be done. Let the Lover of your soul restore it. (Psalms 23:5) I sometimes trick myself and have low moments when I feel like I can’t function. But something always brings me to the light. I’m ready for it.. Darkness, you have been my friend for far too long. I can no longer live in you. I must stand up and live that life God wants me to live. 2015, I know you will be MY YEAR because I have been searching for you for a very long time. In 2015 I will accomplish what I wanted to accomplish many years ago. 2015 will be my greatest year because I can finally believe that I can and I will. 2015 will give me the answer to everything I have been questioning for the past few years. 2015 will allow me to grow and start again. And Lord, because you have blessed me in so many ways I am thankful for you! 2015 will start with a bang!!! And I can not wait… 🙂



Leaving the country in 19 days! 2015 Vacation to start the year off right!! Blessed…

Happy freaking holidays: a guide to surviving December

So needed to read this! ♡

Lisa Jakub: author, speaker, retired actor


This is a stressful time of year.

Sure, it’s joyous and whatever too, but let’s not candy-cane-coat this. Many people are feeling a time crunch, family pressures and money stress. Those of us who struggle with anxiety and/or depression tend to have a hard time, thanks to ridiculous holiday expectations.

But we can do this.

Here are some things that help me this time of year.


Walking (especially with the dog) is sacred time for me. Even a few minutes of fresh air helps clear my head, get me grounded, reconnected to the natural world, and focused on what really matters. And anything that makes Grace happy, makes me happy.


I always feel better when I am able to stop obsessing about my own life and help someone else. Volunteering or just doing something for others (baking cookies for the mail carrier or simply telling someone how important they are to me) brings an abrupt end to my…

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