Anytime I have something alter my emotions drastically, I like to write them down and gather my thoughts. In a few hours I am going to embark into a new journey (literally) and fly away to wonderland. I will step soil into a different country and BREATHE! The last few days I have had major anxiety about leaving home because this place has always been my safety net. But I can’t hold on forever. That is called avoidance, and I tend to do that a lot. This journey has put life into perspective like it usually does. Recently, I learned that someone in my life will be battling cancer. My friend, is one of the toughest motherfu*kers I know. Which makes this a bit harder. Also, realizing that someone I care about is faced with something so heart-ranging is really bringing me down. I went into shock when I heard the news, and once it settled in; all I did was cry. I am a big believer in things happening for a reason. But I can’t understand why this is happening now. The religious person that I am just wants to leave all this in God’s hand. My faith tells me to believe and stay positive. My prayers will be heard because I know he listens. But that doesn’t stop my heart from aching. If anything, it makes me feel helpless. I think I now understand what is feels like to not be able to do anything, and feel so damn crappy. But I will not lose HOPE because my FAITH will help my friend..